The following sermon ws written for the funeral of a young woman.
In the book of Ecclesiastes we hear the Teacher proclaim:
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, (Ecc. 3: 1-4)
These words sound beautiful and good…until a time like now, when death has come ‘before its time.’ When death comes too soon, too young, we fight its timing. Death is out of season and our hearts rail against the unfairness of it.
The writer of Ecclesiastes apparently understood this feeling for he goes on to say:
I have seen the burden God has laid on people. He has set eternity in their hearts; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. (Ecc. 3: 10-11)
No, we cannot understand God’s plan in any of what Betty has endured these past years. You hoped and prayed for healing, but the list of illnesses and complications grew. Suffering can seem like a cruel joke by a heartless god.
For many folks, that would be the end of the story – God is rejected. However, that image of God doesn’t fit with other experiences I’ve had, so I wrestle further with the question of suffering.
As I read on in Ecclesiastes, the writer continues his state of dejection:
Humanity’s fate is like that of the animals; the same fate awaits them both: As one dies, so dies the other. All have the same spirit; humanity has no advantage over the animal. Everything is meaningless. All go to the same place; all come from dust, and to dust all return. (Ecc. 3: 19-20)
As I read it, though, in the context of B, I smiled, because, for her, animals and humans were equal, too – just in a different sense. Her cat was her baby, her companion, her strength and her comfort. During our visits she would share stories of other pets she has had over the years – cats, dogs, and the real pony she got when her parents couldn’t find the toy one she asked for.
I realized that, in her simple way, B witnessed to the love of God for all creatures. As much as she loved her pets, even more so does God love his creatures – two-legged, four-legged, winged, and finned, even the slimy, crawling ones!
We are probably all familiar with the story of Noah and the Ark, the large boat he built to survive the Flood. And we are aware that part of that survival story is that he gathered the pairs of animals on board to preserve the species. What we often miss, however, is a little detail at the end of the story. When God establishes a covenant, promising to never flood the entire earth again, God says,
“I now establish my covenant with you and with your descendants after you and with every living creature that was with you—the birds, the livestock and all the wild animals, all those that came out of the ark with you—every living creature on earth. I establish my covenant with you: Never again will all life be cut off by the waters of a flood; never again will there be a flood to destroy the earth.” And God said, “This is the sign of the covenant I am making between me and you and every living creature with you, a covenant for all generations to come: I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth. Whenever I bring clouds over the earth and the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will remember my covenant between me and you and all living creatures of every kind. Never again will the waters become a flood to destroy all life. Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth.” (Genesis 9:9-16)
This is the God I believe in; even more, a God I can trust. This is a God who is merciful, for in the story, God realizes that people will always ‘be inclined towards evil’ (Gen. 8:21), yet God chooses to never again bring mass destruction because of it. Rather, God will forgive and try again. It is a God who cares for all humanity, especially those ‘on the outside’ – the sinners, the outcasts, the unwanted, the un-needed It is a God who cares for ‘all living creatures.’
In B we got a glimpse of that merciful love; and not only with her pets, but also with other humans. She was beloved at the nursing home because of her kindness. In her final weeks, she was often making beaded jewelry for the staff who had cared for her, a final gift of gratitude, an offering of love.
For centuries, even millennia, people have wrestled with the question of suffering and no one has yet to adequately answer it. To say “It was God’s plan” in a sense blames God and is a small step from depicting God as cruel, rather than as a God of love and mercy.
What we can say, though, is that God is with us in the suffering. God was in each person who supported and cared for B. God was in the wisdom of the medical staff as they did all they could. God was even in a cat who brought her comfort and listened when no one was around.
So, too, is God with us now in our grief and sorrow. God is the Presence that fills a space when people gather to ‘be there’ for one another. God is the Tears brought on by the memories, releasing the pain and bringing a smile. God is the Healing that will come to the broken hearts and bring hope again. Amen.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Recommended Reading
I just finished reading Anne Lamott's Grace (Eventually), which is the 3rd in her Thoughts on Faith series. What I like about her writings is that they do not express a syrupy piety or a sugar-coated theology. They are real -- she is honest about her struggle to grow in spirit, which includes conflict with other church members and wanting to throttle her teenage son. Her stories are an affirmation of the spiritual journies we all are on.
Monday, June 25, 2007
Bivocational
Bivocational: working two jobs for one paycheck.
Qualifications:
Adept at juggling.
Able to wear multiple hats at the same time (sometimes confused with ADHD).
Primary model:
Saul of Tarsus (aka St. Paul). Jewish law required that all males be trained in a practical trade, so, in addition to his training as a Pharisee, Paul also was a tent-maker (the primary commerce of his home town). It is this work that he engaged in to support himself as a preacher.
Acts 18:3
"and because he was a tentmaker as they were, he stayed and worked with them. "
In my case, I work full-time as a chaplain with Heartland Hospice (paid) and part-time for The Oasis (unpaid). Throughout my career I have often worked two (or more!) jobs at a time. The advantage is that it keeps me fresh in both jobs. One provides new insights, ideas, and inspirations (and a break) for the other.
It can also be a challenge when both jobs demand your immediate attention. That's when discernment and prioritizing are key. It's also when you ask for graciousness in the form of patience and understanding from those to whom you minister.
Qualifications:
Adept at juggling.
Able to wear multiple hats at the same time (sometimes confused with ADHD).
Primary model:
Saul of Tarsus (aka St. Paul). Jewish law required that all males be trained in a practical trade, so, in addition to his training as a Pharisee, Paul also was a tent-maker (the primary commerce of his home town). It is this work that he engaged in to support himself as a preacher.
Acts 18:3
"and because he was a tentmaker as they were, he stayed and worked with them. "
In my case, I work full-time as a chaplain with Heartland Hospice (paid) and part-time for The Oasis (unpaid). Throughout my career I have often worked two (or more!) jobs at a time. The advantage is that it keeps me fresh in both jobs. One provides new insights, ideas, and inspirations (and a break) for the other.
It can also be a challenge when both jobs demand your immediate attention. That's when discernment and prioritizing are key. It's also when you ask for graciousness in the form of patience and understanding from those to whom you minister.
In many ways I don't see myself as having multiple jobs. I have one calling -- ministry. I just do it in various settings.
Monday, June 4, 2007
A Passion for the Dechurched
My passion in ministry is for the dechurched -- those folks who are wounded by the Church. Maybe they've lost their sense of faith, maybe they've walked out and slammed the door behind them, maybe they're still sitting in the pew trying to sort it all out. Whatever 'it' may be, though, gets in the way of an openness to faith, to God, to community and stifles the person's spirit.
Much of my ministry has put me in non-parish settings which has brought me in touch with people who wouldn't ordinarily walk into a church. I have listened to their stories, their pain, their frustrations and in so doing I have been challenged to re-evaluate my theological language and imagery and even my theology itself. I have been the object of people's anger because I represent The Church/God/Christianity. I have been the ambassador making amends for the sins of my people. I have sought to be a voice of hope and reconciliation in the face of toxicity.
The wounds come in many forms. Some are more obvious, like persons who have been physically, sexually, emotionally, or verbally abused by someone viewed by others as 'pillars of the church. (It's shocking how much abuse happens on Sunday morning before church!) Stories abound of alcoholic parents that presented a sober facade for church. And numerous women can attest to being 'commanded' to remain in abusive marriages.
Less acknowledged is the damage done to persons with mental illnesses who are, at best, ostracized from the potential support of a faith community and , at worst, are put through traumatizing exorcisms. Likewise, the pain caused to lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered persons who have been condemned to hell, often by the pastors and family members they turned to in the crisis of self-realization. I know of one person who, as a child hearing her parents condemned to hell for getting a divorce, decided she'd rather go to hell too so she would not be separated from them. Somewhere there's a pastor who would (hopefully) be shocked that his message that morning backfired!
Many wounds are more subtle. I think of the couple told they weren't a 'real family' because they didn't (couldn't) have children. 'Family' events in the church were painful and alienating, as they also can be for single parents, divorced families, and glbt families. I think of the myriad of good questions I have heard --about faith, spirituality, bible, theology -- whichwere squelched by church leaders who apparently felt those questions were a challenge to their authority or knowledge. Consequently people were unable to grow spiritually, denied the tools to help them wrestle with their faith, left with answers that were inadequate. So they give up, drift away, become 'inactive' on the church rolls. Or, if they stay, remain stuck on their spiritual journey.
And so I listen to their stories, cringe at the injustices, validate the pain, and then try to provide the tools to help them heal and rebuild. This is what I understand Jesus to have done --with the poor, the outcasts, the sinners, women, children, Gentiles -- reaching out, including them in God's Dominion, healing wounds that went beyond the physical. It is not an easy ministry, but it is such a necessary one!
Some resources:
Much of my ministry has put me in non-parish settings which has brought me in touch with people who wouldn't ordinarily walk into a church. I have listened to their stories, their pain, their frustrations and in so doing I have been challenged to re-evaluate my theological language and imagery and even my theology itself. I have been the object of people's anger because I represent The Church/God/Christianity. I have been the ambassador making amends for the sins of my people. I have sought to be a voice of hope and reconciliation in the face of toxicity.
The wounds come in many forms. Some are more obvious, like persons who have been physically, sexually, emotionally, or verbally abused by someone viewed by others as 'pillars of the church. (It's shocking how much abuse happens on Sunday morning before church!) Stories abound of alcoholic parents that presented a sober facade for church. And numerous women can attest to being 'commanded' to remain in abusive marriages.
Less acknowledged is the damage done to persons with mental illnesses who are, at best, ostracized from the potential support of a faith community and , at worst, are put through traumatizing exorcisms. Likewise, the pain caused to lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered persons who have been condemned to hell, often by the pastors and family members they turned to in the crisis of self-realization. I know of one person who, as a child hearing her parents condemned to hell for getting a divorce, decided she'd rather go to hell too so she would not be separated from them. Somewhere there's a pastor who would (hopefully) be shocked that his message that morning backfired!
Many wounds are more subtle. I think of the couple told they weren't a 'real family' because they didn't (couldn't) have children. 'Family' events in the church were painful and alienating, as they also can be for single parents, divorced families, and glbt families. I think of the myriad of good questions I have heard --about faith, spirituality, bible, theology -- whichwere squelched by church leaders who apparently felt those questions were a challenge to their authority or knowledge. Consequently people were unable to grow spiritually, denied the tools to help them wrestle with their faith, left with answers that were inadequate. So they give up, drift away, become 'inactive' on the church rolls. Or, if they stay, remain stuck on their spiritual journey.
And so I listen to their stories, cringe at the injustices, validate the pain, and then try to provide the tools to help them heal and rebuild. This is what I understand Jesus to have done --with the poor, the outcasts, the sinners, women, children, Gentiles -- reaching out, including them in God's Dominion, healing wounds that went beyond the physical. It is not an easy ministry, but it is such a necessary one!
Some resources:
The Church and the Dechurched: Mending a Damaged Faith by Mary Tuomi Hammond.
Three by Matthew Linn, Sheila Fabricant Linn, and Dennis Linn:
Healing Spiritual Ause and Religious Addiction
Understanding Difficult Scriptures in a Healing Way
Good Goats: Healing Our Image of God
Confronting the Idolatry of Family: A New Vision for the Household of God by Janet Fishburn.
For glbt's:
The Truth Shall Set You Free by Sally Lowe Whitehead.
Prayers for Bobby by Leroy Aarons.
Stranger at the Gate by Mel White.Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Reverend?
I've never been too thrilled with the title "Reverend." It's too formal, too stuffy. Reverends were the old guys (and only guys in those days) who were contemporaries of my grandparents and great-grandparents. They always dressed in black clerical collars and were rather somber. However, the abbreviation of Reverend works well with my name, so it didn't take long for the college students to nickname me "Rev Deb" and it has stuck.
'Reverend' comes from 'revere' and, quite honestly, that's more weight than I care to bear. I have found that when people put you on a pedestal, it is too easy to fall off. Sometimes people are disappointed when seminary training doesn't make clergy 'holy.' That would be like expecting someone with a degree in finances to be rich when they graduated or for someone with a medical degree to always be healthy or for a mechanic's car to never break down. Training and education help us in the journey but they are not magic answers.
Though it is good to be a role model, too often clergy become something Other than everyone else, an Ideal to which people cannot relate. I would rather be Real, to be honest about the ups and downs of trying to live a life of faith in this world. I would rather share the struggles and celebrate the growth with my faith community, than look down from a pedestal and watch them flounder in the muck. Those who know the curves and potholes in a road best are those who travel it.
So I am on the road with the rest of you and, like most others, I can take a wrong turn, have a flat tire, or get distracted by the scenery. Then I have to get myself back on track again in order to continue the journey. Just as you do.
In my work with hospice, people have the right to decline the chaplain's services and some do. I'm often disappointed, not because I think I have some great wisdom to impart to them, but because we are both enriched by traveling the journey together. I have studied the roadmap, listened to the stories of other travelers, and have some insights of my own. The other person, likewise, has maybe read the tourguide or been down this stretch before. Together we navigate the journey in ways that benefit us both.
That's how I see pastoring --guiding, listening, teaching, sharing -- being part of the journey with others -- inspiring, encouraging, helping, and sometimes even being helped along the way.
Funeral Sermon - Mary & Martha
The following sermon was written for a woman whose only surviving relative was an older sister. Both had strong faith. The scripture passages were interwoven throughout the sermon rather than read separately.
In the time I have known Mary Lou, I have also known Betty – two sisters whose lives were intertwined, caring for one another, supporting one another. Yet they were different – Mary Lou, though bed-bound, was lively, spunky, cracking a dry sense of humor that could catch you off guard. Betty, on the other hand, was quieter, faithfully caring for her sister while the rest of us bustled in and out giving Mary Lou the attention.
I am reminded of another Mary and her sister, Martha. The first story in the scriptures of these two sisters is one we know well:
As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”
“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” (Luke 10:38-42)
This is the story of Betty staying home to help with the chores, while Mary Lou is out about town visiting with others. It is the story of a responsible older sister and a free-spirited younger one. Like Mary of Bethany, Mary Lou was her own person, an independent thinker who did things her own way, and often could convince you to agree!
When we tell this story from Luke, Mary is lauded as the ideal, a picture of faith seated at Jesus’ feet, eager to learn from him. Indeed, Mary Lou had a similar sense of faith, opening her Bible to find a passage to give her guidance as she set out on a journey. It is this faith which helped to sustain her through the hardships of life.
But too often Martha gets demoted in the process, yet we know the importance of those who take care of the practical tasks of life! Without them the world wouldn’t function! As we continue on in the scriptures we hear that Martha is, likewise, a person of deep faith.
Now a man named Lazarus was sick. He was from Bethany, the village of Mary and her sister Martha. So the sisters sent word to Jesus, “Lord, the one you love is sick.”
Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. Yet when he heard that Lazarus was sick, he stayed where he was two more days. Then he said to his disciples, “Let us go back to Judea.”
On his arrival, Jesus found that Lazarus had already been in the tomb for four days. 18 Bethany was less than two miles from Jerusalem, and many Jews had come to Martha and Mary to comfort them in the loss of their brother. When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went out to meet him, but Mary stayed at home.
“Lord,” Martha said to Jesus, “if you had been here, my brother would not have died. But I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask.”
Jesus said to her, “Your brother will rise again.”
Martha answered, “I know he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day.”
Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?”
“Yes, Lord,” she told him, “I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, who was to come into the world.” (John 11, selected verses)
In this story we see a different side to Martha, one which is not afraid to question, even challenge Jesus -- a spunky side. It reveals a faith secure enough to trust the relationship she has with Jesus. Clearly Martha has been listening to Jesus’ teachings – she knows appropriate responses to his questions -- but now she is pushing a bit farther. Her practical personality would like a practical resolution to the situation.
Mary, on the other hand, reveals a more passive side, one which raises the same question (apparently they had been discussing this between themselves and I have to wonder which one came up with it first!) but Mary doesn’t push. She simply places herself in the comfort of Jesus’ Presence:
And after Martha had said this, she went back and called her sister Mary aside. “The Teacher is here,” she said, “and is asking for you.” When Mary heard this, she got up quickly and went to him. Now Jesus had not yet entered the village, but was still at the place where Martha had met him. When the Jews who had been with Mary in the house, comforting her, noticed how quickly she got up and went out, they followed her, supposing she was going to the tomb to mourn there. When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”
(John 11, selected verses)
Betty, I have seen the spunky side of Martha in you as well, a side that can tease, a side that could advocate for your sister whe she needed something and didn’t rest until you got it! And though Mary showed her feistiness those last several days, defying every prediction of her death, she ultimately revealed this other side which allowed her to simply rest herself in God’s arms and trust Jesus to take her home.
Realisitically, in times of grief, questioning, and pain, we can be either, or often both, of these women. They model for us that it is okay to question and even challenge God, for in such we not only reveal a deep and trusting relationship but in our searching we begin to find, if not answers, at least some resolution. At other times, however, we simply need to rest ourselves in God’s comfort, trusting that God will take care of it.
As we know, the story continues:
When Jesus saw Mary weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. “Where have you laid him?” he asked.
“Come and see, Lord,” they replied.
Jesus wept.
Then the Jews said, “See how he loved him!” (John 11, selected verses)
The KJV tells us that Jesus “groaned in spirit” (embrimaomai); literally ‘a snort of indignation,’ what we might call ‘in a huff.’ And that Jesus was ‘troubled,’ (tarasso); literally ‘agitated,’ ‘disquieted,’ distressed’, even ‘anxious.’ We are then told “Jesus wept.” The Bible has several words for crying: Alalazo is a gut-wrenching cry; threneo is the wailing heard in a dirge; klaio is a weeping as if in pain; odurmos is simply mourning; and stenazo is a deep sigh or groan.
But dakruo is from dakruon, which means ‘teardrops’. This is the only place in the scriptures where this word (dakruo) is used in its verb form. Dakruon are the tears shed by the sinful women when she wiped Jesus’ feet with her hair (Luke 7:38); they are the tears shed by the father, pleading for his son, who asked of Jesus: “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!” (Mark 9:24); they are the tears of which we hear in John’s vision of heaven:
"God will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” (Revelation 21:4)
Jesus knows our pain, our tears, our sorrow and he, too, wishes the world could be a different place. In God’s dominion, it will be so; and for those who rest in him, it is so. That is our hope and our consolation.
The assurance Jesus made to Martha is our own assurance: “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die.” His question to her is ours as well: “Do you believe this?” It is one which we each must answer within ourselves, and, truth be told, one which we will be asked to answer repeatedly throughout life.
I envy Martha – she got to see her sibling raised from the tomb; she had tangible proof. We do not -- not in the same way. We are asked to believe, to trust, to hope, and to live accordingly.
Which returns me to our first story of Mary and Martha; for it is not a story about piety vs. action but one about attention and intention. Clearly the world would not function without action – things need to get done and as people of faith we are told that “Faith without works is dead” (James 2:26). However, in the story, we are told that Martha was ‘distracted,’ ‘worried,’ and ‘upset.’ Other translations use the word ‘anxious’ and even ‘over-occupied.’ It is this attitude that is the issue. It is not what she is doing but what it is doing to her.
The things of life can tend to distract us. We lose our focus on what is important, what truly is a priority. In a more common saying we remark that we ‘can’t see the forest for the trees.’ In times of grief we play this out when we try to figure out life and death and the life beyond. Death is a mystery and certainly eternal life is one! But in our need to make sense of (i.e., control) our world, we miss the line between knowledge and faith; in looking for God in the midst of our pain, we miss the One who is standing right behind us, holding us up; in the midst of saying ‘if only…,” we miss the blessings that were.
When it comes to entrusting Mary Lou to God’s care, we can answer Jesus’ question by saying, “Yes, Lord we believe.” -- we believe she is in a better place, free of the suffering of these past years. We believe the grave is not the end of the story. And in saying those words, we express hope and faith.
When it comes to entrusting our own lives, the response is more difficult. Can we live our lives with the perspective of hope? Can we let peace fill us when despair raises its voice? Can we not get caught up in the busyness of life in order to numb our pain? Can we stop and listen for the whisper of God in the cacophony of life? Can we see beyond our own expectations to the surprises that God offers?
The promise of new life is not just for the dead and dying. It is also for us who are living. Jesus not only told Martha, “Whoever believes in me will live, even though he dies;” he also said, “ and whoever lives and believes in me will never die.” Now obviously we will all die physically. The question is, will we live until we die? Or do we let the struggles and sorrows of this world suck the life out of us until we are merely existing?
The word Jesus uses for ‘dying’ has the connotation of a tree dryng up from lack of water or of a seed rotting in the ground and never sprouting. We here that image in the prophet Jeremiah:
“But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in God. That one will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.” (Jeremiah 17:7-8)
And Jesus used it elsewhere:
“Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. “ (John 15:4-5)
It is these times when our faith is tried and tested that we must choose to live or to die. It is in these times that, like Martha, we ask the tough questions and search for answers. It is also in these times that, like Mary, we learn to simply rest in God’s wisdom. The biggest challenge may simply be discerning when to do which!
As you grieve the loss of Mary Lou, may you grow in faith. May find healing for your broken hearts and hope for your tomorrows. May you choose to live in the face of death. Amen.
In the time I have known Mary Lou, I have also known Betty – two sisters whose lives were intertwined, caring for one another, supporting one another. Yet they were different – Mary Lou, though bed-bound, was lively, spunky, cracking a dry sense of humor that could catch you off guard. Betty, on the other hand, was quieter, faithfully caring for her sister while the rest of us bustled in and out giving Mary Lou the attention.
I am reminded of another Mary and her sister, Martha. The first story in the scriptures of these two sisters is one we know well:
As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”
“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” (Luke 10:38-42)
This is the story of Betty staying home to help with the chores, while Mary Lou is out about town visiting with others. It is the story of a responsible older sister and a free-spirited younger one. Like Mary of Bethany, Mary Lou was her own person, an independent thinker who did things her own way, and often could convince you to agree!
When we tell this story from Luke, Mary is lauded as the ideal, a picture of faith seated at Jesus’ feet, eager to learn from him. Indeed, Mary Lou had a similar sense of faith, opening her Bible to find a passage to give her guidance as she set out on a journey. It is this faith which helped to sustain her through the hardships of life.
But too often Martha gets demoted in the process, yet we know the importance of those who take care of the practical tasks of life! Without them the world wouldn’t function! As we continue on in the scriptures we hear that Martha is, likewise, a person of deep faith.
Now a man named Lazarus was sick. He was from Bethany, the village of Mary and her sister Martha. So the sisters sent word to Jesus, “Lord, the one you love is sick.”
Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. Yet when he heard that Lazarus was sick, he stayed where he was two more days. Then he said to his disciples, “Let us go back to Judea.”
On his arrival, Jesus found that Lazarus had already been in the tomb for four days. 18 Bethany was less than two miles from Jerusalem, and many Jews had come to Martha and Mary to comfort them in the loss of their brother. When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went out to meet him, but Mary stayed at home.
“Lord,” Martha said to Jesus, “if you had been here, my brother would not have died. But I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask.”
Jesus said to her, “Your brother will rise again.”
Martha answered, “I know he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day.”
Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?”
“Yes, Lord,” she told him, “I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, who was to come into the world.” (John 11, selected verses)
In this story we see a different side to Martha, one which is not afraid to question, even challenge Jesus -- a spunky side. It reveals a faith secure enough to trust the relationship she has with Jesus. Clearly Martha has been listening to Jesus’ teachings – she knows appropriate responses to his questions -- but now she is pushing a bit farther. Her practical personality would like a practical resolution to the situation.
Mary, on the other hand, reveals a more passive side, one which raises the same question (apparently they had been discussing this between themselves and I have to wonder which one came up with it first!) but Mary doesn’t push. She simply places herself in the comfort of Jesus’ Presence:
And after Martha had said this, she went back and called her sister Mary aside. “The Teacher is here,” she said, “and is asking for you.” When Mary heard this, she got up quickly and went to him. Now Jesus had not yet entered the village, but was still at the place where Martha had met him. When the Jews who had been with Mary in the house, comforting her, noticed how quickly she got up and went out, they followed her, supposing she was going to the tomb to mourn there. When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”
(John 11, selected verses)
Betty, I have seen the spunky side of Martha in you as well, a side that can tease, a side that could advocate for your sister whe she needed something and didn’t rest until you got it! And though Mary showed her feistiness those last several days, defying every prediction of her death, she ultimately revealed this other side which allowed her to simply rest herself in God’s arms and trust Jesus to take her home.
Realisitically, in times of grief, questioning, and pain, we can be either, or often both, of these women. They model for us that it is okay to question and even challenge God, for in such we not only reveal a deep and trusting relationship but in our searching we begin to find, if not answers, at least some resolution. At other times, however, we simply need to rest ourselves in God’s comfort, trusting that God will take care of it.
As we know, the story continues:
When Jesus saw Mary weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. “Where have you laid him?” he asked.
“Come and see, Lord,” they replied.
Jesus wept.
Then the Jews said, “See how he loved him!” (John 11, selected verses)
The KJV tells us that Jesus “groaned in spirit” (embrimaomai); literally ‘a snort of indignation,’ what we might call ‘in a huff.’ And that Jesus was ‘troubled,’ (tarasso); literally ‘agitated,’ ‘disquieted,’ distressed’, even ‘anxious.’ We are then told “Jesus wept.” The Bible has several words for crying: Alalazo is a gut-wrenching cry; threneo is the wailing heard in a dirge; klaio is a weeping as if in pain; odurmos is simply mourning; and stenazo is a deep sigh or groan.
But dakruo is from dakruon, which means ‘teardrops’. This is the only place in the scriptures where this word (dakruo) is used in its verb form. Dakruon are the tears shed by the sinful women when she wiped Jesus’ feet with her hair (Luke 7:38); they are the tears shed by the father, pleading for his son, who asked of Jesus: “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!” (Mark 9:24); they are the tears of which we hear in John’s vision of heaven:
"God will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” (Revelation 21:4)
Jesus knows our pain, our tears, our sorrow and he, too, wishes the world could be a different place. In God’s dominion, it will be so; and for those who rest in him, it is so. That is our hope and our consolation.
The assurance Jesus made to Martha is our own assurance: “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die.” His question to her is ours as well: “Do you believe this?” It is one which we each must answer within ourselves, and, truth be told, one which we will be asked to answer repeatedly throughout life.
I envy Martha – she got to see her sibling raised from the tomb; she had tangible proof. We do not -- not in the same way. We are asked to believe, to trust, to hope, and to live accordingly.
Which returns me to our first story of Mary and Martha; for it is not a story about piety vs. action but one about attention and intention. Clearly the world would not function without action – things need to get done and as people of faith we are told that “Faith without works is dead” (James 2:26). However, in the story, we are told that Martha was ‘distracted,’ ‘worried,’ and ‘upset.’ Other translations use the word ‘anxious’ and even ‘over-occupied.’ It is this attitude that is the issue. It is not what she is doing but what it is doing to her.
The things of life can tend to distract us. We lose our focus on what is important, what truly is a priority. In a more common saying we remark that we ‘can’t see the forest for the trees.’ In times of grief we play this out when we try to figure out life and death and the life beyond. Death is a mystery and certainly eternal life is one! But in our need to make sense of (i.e., control) our world, we miss the line between knowledge and faith; in looking for God in the midst of our pain, we miss the One who is standing right behind us, holding us up; in the midst of saying ‘if only…,” we miss the blessings that were.
When it comes to entrusting Mary Lou to God’s care, we can answer Jesus’ question by saying, “Yes, Lord we believe.” -- we believe she is in a better place, free of the suffering of these past years. We believe the grave is not the end of the story. And in saying those words, we express hope and faith.
When it comes to entrusting our own lives, the response is more difficult. Can we live our lives with the perspective of hope? Can we let peace fill us when despair raises its voice? Can we not get caught up in the busyness of life in order to numb our pain? Can we stop and listen for the whisper of God in the cacophony of life? Can we see beyond our own expectations to the surprises that God offers?
The promise of new life is not just for the dead and dying. It is also for us who are living. Jesus not only told Martha, “Whoever believes in me will live, even though he dies;” he also said, “ and whoever lives and believes in me will never die.” Now obviously we will all die physically. The question is, will we live until we die? Or do we let the struggles and sorrows of this world suck the life out of us until we are merely existing?
The word Jesus uses for ‘dying’ has the connotation of a tree dryng up from lack of water or of a seed rotting in the ground and never sprouting. We here that image in the prophet Jeremiah:
“But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in God. That one will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.” (Jeremiah 17:7-8)
And Jesus used it elsewhere:
“Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. “ (John 15:4-5)
It is these times when our faith is tried and tested that we must choose to live or to die. It is in these times that, like Martha, we ask the tough questions and search for answers. It is also in these times that, like Mary, we learn to simply rest in God’s wisdom. The biggest challenge may simply be discerning when to do which!
As you grieve the loss of Mary Lou, may you grow in faith. May find healing for your broken hearts and hope for your tomorrows. May you choose to live in the face of death. Amen.
VITA
Rev. Deborah M. Click
Education
Master of Divinity, Trinity Lutheran Seminary, Columbus, OH, 1988
Clinical Pastoral Education, Parkview Memorial Hospital, Fort Wayne, IN, 1986
Bachelor of Science, Biology, Purdue University, West Lafayette, IN, 1984
Employment History
Spiritual Care Coordinator, Heartland Hospice, Columbus, OH, 2000-present
Residential Staff/Case Manager, River Valley Apartments, Moundbuilders Guidance Center,
Newark, OH, 1997 - 2001
Adjunct Chaplain, Denison University, Granville, OH, 1998 - 2000
Director, Prism Ministries (Ecumenical), Granville, OH, 1997 - 2000
Campus Minister, Newark Area Campus Ministry (Ecumenical), The Ohio State University at Newark and Central Ohio Technical College, Newark, OH, 1991- 1997
Associate Pastor, St. Paul's Evangelical Lutheran Church, Newark, OH, 1991 - 1997
Summer Staff/Acting Director, Ohio Council of Churches, Columbus, OH, 1996
Interim Assistant Chaplain, Grant Medical Center, Columbus, OH, 1990 - 1991
Foster Home Recruitment and Training Specialist, Youth Advocate Services, Columbus, OH, 1990 - 1991
Pastor, St. Paul's Lutheran Church, Connersville, IN, 1988 - 1990
Vicar, St. Paul's Evangelical Lutheran Church, Newark OH, 1986 - 1987
Student Chaplain, Grant Medical Center, Columbus, OH, 1984 - 1985
Assistant Director/Program Director, Camp Lutherwald, Howe, IN, 1982 - 1984
Other Professional Activities
Lutherans Concerned/North America http://http://www.lcna.org/: Board Secretary, 2000-2002; National Worship Planner, National Assembly, Columbus, OH; 2000
The Network for Inclusive Vision
Granville Ministerium, Granville, OH, 1997 to 2000
Friends of the [Battered Women's] Shelter, Granville, OH; 1993 - 1997
Ohio Council of Churches http://http://www.ohcouncilchs.org/, Columbus, OH: Synod Representative, Personnel Committee, Nominating Committee; 1992 - 1996
Central Ohio Conference Council, Southern Ohio Synod, ELCA, Columbus, OH; 1993 –1997
Newark Area Ministerial Association, Newark, OH 1990 - 1997
Rostered
The United Church of Christ http://www.ucc.org, 2006 - present
The Extraordinary Candidacy Project http://http://www.extraordinarycandidacyproject.org/
Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, 1988-2005
Education
Master of Divinity, Trinity Lutheran Seminary, Columbus, OH, 1988
Clinical Pastoral Education, Parkview Memorial Hospital, Fort Wayne, IN, 1986
Bachelor of Science, Biology, Purdue University, West Lafayette, IN, 1984
Employment History
Spiritual Care Coordinator, Heartland Hospice, Columbus, OH, 2000-present
Residential Staff/Case Manager, River Valley Apartments, Moundbuilders Guidance Center,
Newark, OH, 1997 - 2001
Adjunct Chaplain, Denison University, Granville, OH, 1998 - 2000
Director, Prism Ministries (Ecumenical), Granville, OH, 1997 - 2000
Campus Minister, Newark Area Campus Ministry (Ecumenical), The Ohio State University at Newark and Central Ohio Technical College, Newark, OH, 1991- 1997
Associate Pastor, St. Paul's Evangelical Lutheran Church, Newark, OH, 1991 - 1997
Summer Staff/Acting Director, Ohio Council of Churches, Columbus, OH, 1996
Interim Assistant Chaplain, Grant Medical Center, Columbus, OH, 1990 - 1991
Foster Home Recruitment and Training Specialist, Youth Advocate Services, Columbus, OH, 1990 - 1991
Pastor, St. Paul's Lutheran Church, Connersville, IN, 1988 - 1990
Vicar, St. Paul's Evangelical Lutheran Church, Newark OH, 1986 - 1987
Student Chaplain, Grant Medical Center, Columbus, OH, 1984 - 1985
Assistant Director/Program Director, Camp Lutherwald, Howe, IN, 1982 - 1984
Other Professional Activities
Lutherans Concerned/North America http://http://www.lcna.org/: Board Secretary, 2000-2002; National Worship Planner, National Assembly, Columbus, OH; 2000
The Network for Inclusive Vision
Granville Ministerium, Granville, OH, 1997 to 2000
Friends of the [Battered Women's] Shelter, Granville, OH; 1993 - 1997
Ohio Council of Churches http://http://www.ohcouncilchs.org/, Columbus, OH: Synod Representative, Personnel Committee, Nominating Committee; 1992 - 1996
Central Ohio Conference Council, Southern Ohio Synod, ELCA, Columbus, OH; 1993 –1997
Newark Area Ministerial Association, Newark, OH 1990 - 1997
Rostered
The United Church of Christ http://www.ucc.org, 2006 - present
The Extraordinary Candidacy Project http://http://www.extraordinarycandidacyproject.org/
Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, 1988-2005
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